"The New County"

The people up to Metaline
Exult in nature's bounty,
And they know they've land enough in sight
To consititute a County:
But how they groan and grouch and yell
When people call it Penn Dorell.

Ione, we know, has got the worth,
Surrounding towns to dazzle:
Her boosters say she has the earth,
All pounded to a frazzle:
What boots it if competitors
are ground into a jelly,
When rank outsiders call the place
A name like Pan Dorelly?

There's Newport, future County Seat,
A lively town, believe me:
But, what a wrench
They give their French-
Or do my ears deceive me?
For even boosters proud as they
Pronounce it blandly Ponderay.

Small wonder that the senator
Whose soul is steeped in history
Should find the new-found title
An Orthographic Mystery,
But vain regrets would bow his head
And salt tears drip a gallon
Should he successfully impose
The sainted name of Allen.

Accept we then this county new,
And place the name on file
Where every prospect pleases
And only man is vile.
But wish yourself in for Hawaii
Before you call it Pon-do-rye-ee!
.......... Chinookers in Spokesman-Review

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Maintained by Susan Dechant, Pend Oreille County Coordinator